Creating an in-memory ornament for children, teenagers or adults
Christmas and school holidays are a perfect time to talk with your children or other family members about their emotions and how they are feeling about their grief journey.
Working with them to create an in-memory ornament is a great way to open up a conversation – in fact it’s a perfect activity for the whole family to be involved in. The ornament can be filled with feelings and memories, which are represented by shapes and colour and are tactile.
You will need:
- Coloured ribbon (at least six colours)
- Clear ornaments that you can open up, they can be either glass or plastic
- Coloured paper (up to three colours) cut into strips
- Beads, stars and any other small shiny objects
- Markers, pens or coloured pencils
Step 1
1. Cut the ribbon into six equal segments
2. Talk with your children and family members about all the different emotions they feel when they are thinking about the person they have lost. Make a list of the common emotions, for example they may be feeling lonely, sad, happy, scared, mad or love. Older family members may be feeling regret, guilt or hope.
3. Assign each of your six emotions to a different coloured ribbon and lay them out on a table with labels.
4. Lay out your beads and other objects and label them “memories”.
5. Lay out your strips of coloured paper along with your markers, pens or coloured pencils.
Step 2
Give each child and family member an ornament. Work through with them that each ribbon represents a different emotion that they have about the person they have lost. This provides a great opportunity to talk about the wide range of feelings they may be experiencing and will help normalise these feelings.
The next step is to work through the beads and other objects that will represent their memories of the person they have lost. For example, for each memory they can drop a bead or object into the ornament. This may provide an opportunity to share their memories of the person they have lost. Don’t push too hard if children don’t wish to talk about their memories.
Finally, you should encourage the children to draw or write anything they would like to the strips of paper – this could be a message, memory or anything they would like to say.
When their messages have been completed, add the paper to the ornament and close it up. When closed, loop a piece of ribbon through the top of the ornament and you’re finished!
There are many ways to acknowledge grief and loss through the holiday period with both children and other family members. Creating an activity which supports conversation about how the family are feeling and their memories of the person they have lost is important. At the same time you will have created an ornament that can take pride of place in your home year round.
Last reviewed: 20/4/24