Four Important Things to Remember to Help Children

Four important things to remember to help children understand and cope with death:

• BE HONEST

• BE LOVING

• BE AVAILABLE

BE CONSISTENT

“There are no rule books to follow after a child’s death. You only learn by doing.” (Sharon)

“We used to have this Friday night ritual where we would have fish and chips and all snuggle up together under a doona and watch a video; the kids loved it. After Danielle died, it was hard to do this, but we started again because it was important to Nick and Steph. To Nick, it was like, that’s what we do. It reinforced his security. In a family that’s been torn apart, it was re-establishing a sense of security, that’s what we did, that’s what we still do, the core of our family is still here.” (Mel)

“We just do the best we can. We did the best we could at the time.” (Mel)

“Helping our boys deal with this is the most important thing to us. We can only hope that out of this tragedy they grow into better, more caring and more understanding young men.” (Toni and Richard)

This article was prepared using extracts from What about the Other Kids?1 The full text is available online or contact Red Nose Grief and Loss Services on 1300 308 307 for a printed version.


Last reviewed: 18/6/19