Questions About Another Baby
It is very common to raise the issue of having another baby immediately. Some parents feel that it is the best thing for them to do whilst others feel that they can’t face the prospect. It can be a difficult decision to make because, while there is often a longing to fill the emptiness and loneliness, there can be anxiety and panic that the same tragedy will happen again.
In making the decision, you need to be aware:
- That there is better than 99% chance that another baby will not die from SIDS/SUDC (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome / Sudden Unexpected Death in Childhood)
- No baby can replace another. Each child is an individual with his or her own personality and characteristics.
- If the next baby is born close to the next anniversary of the baby’s death or birthday, conflicting emotions such as celebrations and sorrow can be confusing and difficult.
“We decided to wait six months before trying again. I thought it would give us more time to heal and make it less likely that our next baby would be born on or around the anniversary.”
The decision as to whether, or when, to have another baby should be made when you feel ready. This may be immediately or it may be later.
“Although we could never replace Samuel, we had never wanted Hannah to be an only child so felt we had to get pregnant very quickly. There was little intimacy, however, as sex was for the sole purpose of having another child. It was simply a means to an end.”
“Another baby does help with the healing and growing as a person.”
“If it was for me, I wouldn’t have tried for another baby. Also, I had to accept that medical advice can only help so far, that there was always the chance of it happening again.”
This article was prepared using extracts from Always Your Child1 and Your Child has Died: Some Answers To Your Questions.2 The full texts are available online or contact Red Nose Grief and Loss Services on 1300 308 307 for a printed version.
Last reviewed: 22/9/20
- Bereaved Parents & SIDS and Kids Victoria. (2000). Always Your Child: A Booklet by and for Parents whose Baby or Young Child has Died Suddenly and Unexpectedly (V. Bateman, Comp.). Malvern, Vic.: SIDS and Kids.
- Same, D. & Bereaved Parents & Red Nose Grief and Loss Services. (2016). Your Child has Died: Some Answers To Your Questions: A Booklet for Bereaved Parents whose Young Child has Died Suddenly and Unexpectedly. Malvern, Vic.: Red Nose Grief and Loss Services.