The journey of hope and healing

“Good evening to you all, and welcome to all our families, friends and supporters who join us this evening, for our 2019 Remembrance Service.

“We are here tonight for an incredibly special reason: to honour, celebrate and remember our beautiful babies and children. And to acknowledge them and our journey. Our journey of hope and healing.

“My journey with Red Nose began 21 years ago after the death of my precious son Ben to SIDS.

“The death of our much-loved children has changed the trajectory of our lives. This journey of hope and healing is one we never imagined taking.

“Overcoming challenges, climbing your own mountain, resilience, navigating life’s hurdles and post traumatic growth – words and phrases that once upon a time were not part of our
vocabulary.

“My life, like yours, changed forever the moment Ben died.

“I was thrown into the deepest, darkest pit I had ever experienced.

“I was experiencing emotions that were completely foreign to me – their intensity took my breath away.

“I felt like an alien in my own body, a stranger to myself. So many questions ran through my head and none of them seemed to have answers: “Why did this happen to us? To him? Why did God do this to me, to our family? What had I done to deserve this punishment? Was it all my fault? But, the one that haunted me over and over was “if this can happen to us, what’s life really all about and what’s the point?”

“I know many of you have asked the same questions.

“I have a vivid memory of sitting on the floor at my parents’ house days after Ben died…my head in my hands, my back supported by the wall and I realised that I had a choice to
make… “was I going to allow Ben’s death to ruin my life and that of my kids and family…was I going to become a bitter and twisted old woman who failed to see any joy in life?”

“Now, seeing me standing here tonight, you probably think that it was an easy decision to make, but it wasn’t.

“It took every ounce of my inner resourcefulness to choose to re-engage with life, to try and find positives out of this horrendous situation, but what kept me putting one foot in front of the other was my children, including Ben. I wanted my children to still have a beautiful childhood, a beautiful life…they deserved that.

“I also wanted Ben to be proud of me, so my journey of hope and healing began that day, and continues every day still.

“And I am no different to any of you. We all share life’s challenges. Our journey is about finding our own sense of meaning and purpose. There is power in community, in knowing that
you are not alone…never forget that.

“I stand here with you all tonight proud of the woman I have become and yet knowing that I could never have done it without my little angel hovering over my left shoulder gently
guiding me, encouraging me and showing me what is truly important in life.

“He has bought me to this point in my life… “I am here, I am as a strong as a mountain, as fluid as the ocean, as fragile as a feather…I am me.”

“For those of you who are bereaved parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and friends, I just want to take a moment to acknowledge your courage, your resilience and your
resourcefulness [pause for reflection].

“Thank you for joining us here this evening. And thank you for the privilege of allowing us all to share in honoring your child.”

Last reviewed: 21/11/24