I am an Inspiration

That I no longer feel guilty about laughing.

That I walked out my front door the first time.

That I showed my face in the community, and even spoke to some people.

That I can still allow myself to cry ... and laugh ... and remember… and mention my child’s name.

That I am a pioneer in how to ‘handle’ grief… I allow others to do the same.

That I can look at my other children and really love them.

That I can let them out the front door and they are not wrapped in cotton wool from head to toe.

That I can allow them to spend time away from me.

That I can still feel.

That I can take my partner’s hand and choose to keep going.

That I can let my partner take my hand to keep me going.

That trivial things no Ionger matter but I can still listen to my friends “go on”.

That I can still make love to my partner.

That I can still have another child and love them with my heart and soul.

That I can look at another person who has lost a child and “just know”.

That I can still smell a rose.

That simple moments are the most important things in my life.

That I want to help people.

That I’m allowing myself to discover me.

That I can really live.

I AM AN INSPIRATION.

[Mel Ryan (mother of Danielle - four and a half)]

This article was prepared using extracts from Your Child has Died: Some Answers To Your Questions.¹ The full text is available online or contact Red Nose Grief and Loss Services on 1300 308 307 for a printed version.

Last reviewed: 17/11/24